If you are a client picking an agency...

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There are more types of agencies around today than ever before. All this dang technology has turned everyone upside down and more specialist agencies popping up every day. I personally would like to create a specialist agency that only advertises on urinal pucks and in skywriting, I think this is the wave of the future.

 

In short, if you are a client, here are my invented categories of agencies that exist today.

 

The Biggs

These agencies are so freaking huge that they employ entire cities. They take up 15 floors in massive skyscrapers. They do everything, especially eat funky smaller agencies for lunch. What do they stand for? Being big. Their budgets are bigger than many small countries. Do they “get” digital? No. They don’t have to because they will just acquire the expertise… and stay big.

 

The Nebulous

This agency has funny titles in its structure like “Alchemist” or “Talent Magnet.” They do Creata-strata-digi-social type of things. They will wow you with wizardry. They will say things to you like “digital ninja.” They will do a boatload of work for you Mr. or Mrs. Client and will charge you a lot of money and you will have no idea what to do with it.

 

The Designers

Immaculate. Pristine. They create work that is so precious, it hurts. They will suffer over your annual report until their eyes bleed. They will give you 52 options for the logo and you will never pick the right one. They do great work. And they still won’t be happy about it.

 

The Dangerous

These agencies are smart. They will always be smart. They are usually mid-sized. They can really see the future. They change before it gets here. Whatever they do, it’s usually better than your work. They are rarely afraid. They keep being smart, but they are even smart enough to not turn into one of the “Biggs.”

 

The Consultants

Usually coming from a deep technology background, these agencies literally process you into submission. They make charts and graphs and talk about such deep technology issues that it leaves most IT guys breathless. Creativity isn’t their forte, process is. It’s not about the product, it’s how they get there that will make you, Mr./Mrs. Client, feel at ease and hire them. These places will turn Creatives into robots.

 

The Scrappy

Production minded. Constantly hungry. Will out-hustle your agency 10-times over. They can concept shit and make it, too. They have one guy in film, one guy in digital and one guy in sales. They do the agency production work, but also have their own clients. They are fast and connected. But they don’t have a good account guy to grow anything or get a big client.

 

The Web Barn

C’mon down to the web barn! We’re fast. We’re cheap. And right now we have a 2 for 1 special on HTML E-mails. We do HTML, XML, FLASH, AJAX, Animated GIFs. We do it all. Creative? You want it fast right? Well, we don’t get creative on our stuff. Just look up at our board here, pick what you want and we’ll get it right down to ya!!

 

The Too Cool

These guys are so cool and so small that you’ve never heard of them. They did that one thing just recently, I don’t remember exactly who it was for, but it was so cool! Oh, and their logo was awesome. I don’t remember their name… wait, what happened to them? They’re gone? They were so cool!